For marriage to work it takes two people to truly commit to each other. Commitment is not just a word, it work. The biggest problem today is that commitment is being taken to mean servitude. Commitment simply means becoming one and saying no to anything that competes for attention against your spouse. For commitment to grow it must undergo the different phases of marriage.
1. During the early years
Some studies indicate that half of all divorces take place during the first two years of marriage. This is not surprising. Melding two lives together is hard work. But if the couple made their vows with seriousness, they will hang on and give the relationship a chance to mature and meld.
2. When boredom sets in
Every relationship has periods when growth stops and nothing exciting happens, like low tide when the energy of the surf recedes. Pledges of lifelong loving become invaluable guidance systems during these times.
3. When trouble comes calling
Most relationships hit more than a few snags through the years: career uncertainties, the demands of parenthood, ill health, or a myriad of other real challenges. These are the times that test us and define us. Commitment to love “for better or worse” can save a marriage when the going gets tough.
Commitment is about mutual agreement and understanding. Are you committed to your spouse? Are you giving your all? There are several signs to show if you are heading in the right direction.
1. The love and respect that you have for each other. Ignoring what your partner’s views and dreams are and trying to impose yourself on him/her or vice versa, and trying to imbibe his/her personality and losing your individuality is not love or respect. Growing in love and caring for each other’s needs, likes and dislikes are good signs, but compromising on your individual standards is not healthy.
2. Being loyal to your partner is another big sign. If you are loyal to your partner in every aspect and also loyal to your relationship and the promises that you have made to each other, then there is no doubt that you are in a committed relationship.
3. Another point is being honest. If you truly share your feelings and share yourself in the presence of your partner, then it is a sign of being committed. Apart from this, if you have been honest about your past and truthfully have told your partner about your future plans then it shows that you are in a committed relationship.
For those who sense that there marital commitment is weak there is need to get to work. There are three levels to work on and when you take it one day at a time, all will be well.
Personal Commitment, a.k.a. “I Want To.” If you have a high level of personal commitment to your marriage, you may find yourself saying or thinking, “I want to continue in my marriage. I take pleasure in being married. I enjoy being committed to my spouse.”
Moral Commitment, a.k.a. “I Ought To.” Those with a high level of moral commitment might say, “I believe staying in my marriage is the right thing to do. I’ll stick it out because of my values and beliefs. I made a commitment before God and I should keep my word.”
Structural Commitment, a.k.a. “I Have To.” If you have a high level of structural commitment, the following statements may apply to you: “External constraints are keeping me in my marriage. I have to stay married. I can’t afford the negative consequences of divorce on my finances, my social relationships and the way others might perceive me. Divorce would also be detrimental for my children.”